Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting 1 live cow, you get 2,485,506 dead cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Homestuck: you have two cows- wait no, now they're dead.
Whedon: There are two cows, but you do not own them. Because can anyone ever really own another living thing? One cow is named Kit and the other is named Mary. Mary and Kit grew up together on the farm, and often would often frolic in the grassy fields. The grassy fields symbolized the freedom of youth. Kit was picked up by a rogue farmer while wandering too close to the main highway. Mary waited and waited and became increasingly worried when Kit never came home that night. Using her Bovine Rage Mary escaped the herding pens and found Kit's tracks leading to the highway. There was obviously a struggle, and unwilling to give up, Mary followed the road listening and sniffing for any signs of her best friend Kit. After many hours, with the sun beginning to rise, Mary found a large factory where she could make out the faint sounds of Kit calling. Rage swelled within Mary, and she charged head long into the factory towards the sounds of Kit's cries. Mary found an unattended switch that set all the cows free from their small, cramped cells. The other cows, mad in their desire to be free, flee in a panic, knowing not which way they go. Screams and bays echo throughout the landscape as the animals flee their bondage, escaping to the nearby woods. Kit, wary of the mad herd, held back, waiting for events to calm down before leaving her cell. As she did, she heard a small whimper of pain, and turned, to see the broken, bloody body of her beloved Mary, trampled by the very cows she had saved.