on break I went to the cute cashier not attempting anything really; well I make small talk with a nice smile on my face and she answers and nothing really vibing. My friend walks up next to me and she asks him a flirty question and trys bouncing similarities between the 2 of them and he didnt pick up on it but i saw she instantly thought he was cute/attractive (we never met her before this encounter) Honestly thought she was cute but I wasnt gonna quart her (go after her) but just seeing this happen just made me think, “Wow he didnt say anything to her….” forever alone im done im totally done with trying or liking anyone or even trying to just friendly flirt just to know I can…. game over
I saw this this morning before work and didnt have time to reply. But Ive been thinking about it all day and what I wanted to say.
This does not confirm that you are ugly. This doesnt mean shit. All this means is that this particular girl wasnt into you. She was into your friend. And yes, that sucks balls. Not in the good way. Been there. But Ive also been the friend that someone digs.
A simple truth- Not everyone is attracted to everyone. Simple. Heartbreaking sometimes. But true.
I am a bigger guy. Fat, if you will. Tons of body hair. I have a loud personality that can be somewhat aggressive from time to time. Not everyone is attracted to me. Fair enough. In return Im not attracted to everyone. Ive been on plenty of dates where at the end of the night I had to say goodbye and tell them I wasnt interested in anything romantic. Been on the receiving end of that conversation too. Many times. Both sides of it suck. But at least its honest.
Ive seen your pics. You arent hideous or ugly. But I’ll tell you what. That kind of thing is secondary when it comes to meeting people. People respond to your personality. Your aura. How you hold and carry yourself.
Im betting when you tried talking with her you were kinda shy and reserved. How many of your posts do you talk down on yourself about not being good enough or good looking or that kind of thing? Do you really think that wont carry over to real life? You need to BELIEVE in yourself. Or at the very least learn to bullshit enough to make it look like you do. And I dont mean that in that you should lie or be fake, but you should at least project confidence and self- assured-ness. (Is that a word?)
If you dont like things about yourself, change them. Dont like your body? Exercise. Work out. Eat healthy. Im fat. But that doesnt stop me from being awesome. Nervous about talking to people? Take a speech class. Learn improv. Go to open mic nights and just get up there and talk in front of a large crowd of strangers. Confront the things that are holding you back.
When I was 18 my friends went to some kind of open mic/talent show competition thing where all the acts were singing or hip-hop or street dance. I performed Shakespeare. Yeah I didnt win. Didnt want to. But I fucking did it.
People respond to how you hold yourself. Approach someone by looking them in the eye. Smile. Have a positive attitude. Laugh easily. RELAX RELAX RELAX. “Be cool,” As they say.
Notice how your friend didnt even notice or even try? Be cool. Be casual. You cannot force things. Not to say you cant nudge them in a direction you may like. But there is an art to it. A subtlety. It takes time.
Look into Taoism. Look into Zen. Transform yourself from the inside out. Learn to see that harmony between things. Learn to be happy by yourself when you are alone and appreciative of your friends when you are with them. Be in the moment. Be zen.
It isnt easy. I know. And this wont happen over night. But if you want something you have to be willing to work for it. Fight for it. And fighting yourself is the hardest fight in the world. Mold yourself into the person you want to be.
Never consign yourself to “being the ugly guy.” Never think you are worthless.
Never give up.
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- mandaloreisnice said: Well I don’t think you’re ugly…because you aren’t. Chin up, please?
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