Look at Fifty Shades Of Grey's knot.
Now look at my knot.
Now back at FSoG. Now back at me.
This is the knot your knot could look like if you bothered to ask actual BDSM players, or hell, even their YouTube channels, before making a movie supposedly about BDSM. I’m not a rope top and I did that one-handed.
I’m on a horse.
The thing where they justify abuse by saying “it’s BDSM, of course it’s sick and wrong” is still a bigger problem though.
E.L. James knows as much about BDSM as she would have found in a five minute Google search, which is to say that she knows precisely jack shit.
50 Shades of Grey does not depict a realistic kinky relationship, nor does it depict a healthy relationship of either the kinky or vanilla variety.
It is a Twilight fanfic, and has all the elements of Edward and Bella’s abusive relationship with kink added for extra flavor. Just as Edward and Bella are not a healthy or realistic couple, neither are Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.
Christian Grey is an abuser who manipulates a young woman with zero knowledge of BDSM into a relationship with him. He knows she is ignorant of what a healthy BDSM relationship looks like, and uses this to:
- ignore and override her attempts at negotiation,
- play without a safeword (since she doesn’t know that they exist),
- create a false dichotomy of “either we’re kinky my way or we just don’t have sex at all,”
- threaten and stalk her,
- rape her,
- prevent her from discussing her relationship with anyone other than him,
- and control aspects of her personal life, including what car she drives, what medications she takes, and how she spends her free time.
This is not BDSM. This is not sexy. This is abuse.
Using 50 Shades as your basis for how a kinky relationship works (for critical or practical purposes) is like treating Titanic: The Legend Goes On as a historical documentary. Don’t do it.
MUA/Stylist: Ximena Curtis
perspective is everything
It took me like 16 tries to figure out what I was looking at.
My boss plays DnD in the small group we run once a month, he plays a Bard. Today he was part of a bard competition at a festival and so I made him sing a song out loud to win with the other players as backup singers. He sang Evita - Don’t cry for me Argentina but replaced the town name with the fantasy town’s name. It is possibly the best DnD moment ever.
You are on your way from the LOCAL LIBRARY to the U-HAUL rental center to rent a moving van when you are suddenly confronted by a TEMPLAR KNIGHT. He wields his BROADSWORD threateningly, expressing through his firm body language that he shows no interest in letting you pass. What is your course of action?
ASK FOR DIRECTIONS
You attempt to ask the TEMPLAR KNIGHT for directions, but he abruptly cuts you off, saying something French in a very angry tone. He feigns swinging his BROADSWORD at you, indicating that he is losing his patience. What is your course of action?
ASK WHAT IS THE MATTER, IN FRENCH
You use your SMARTPHONE to look up how to ask “What is the matter?” in French. “Que se passe-t-il?” you inquire. The TEMPLAR KNIGHT begins shouting a string of furious sounding French at you at a rate much too fast for you to possibly type into your phone, and you don’t even know how to spell it anyway. He feigns swinging his BROADSWORD at you again, clearly frustrated by the language barrier between you and himself. What is your course of action?
ASK HIM TO TALK SLOWER, AS I CAN’T UNDERSTAND HIM, IN FRENCH
You enter “Slow down” in your SMARTPHONE and tell the TEMPLAR KNIGHT ”Ralentissez!” He loses his patience and lunges toward you, swinging his BROADSWORD at your torso and slicing a huge chunk of flesh from your body. You collapse in shock and immediately bleed to death.
Man, Pokemon is a rough game.
There you have it, the whole party, revised. Figured I’d do one big post.
"um starfire’s powers are fueled by the sun that’s why she has to wear skimpy clothes" hey u know who else’s powers are fueled by the sun? superman. come on clark time for that toothfloss speedo chop chop
his nipples are covered by tiny capes
truth, justice, and the american way
» Because only Vin Diesel could ever be ridiculously nerdy enough to attend the UK world premiere red carpet for Guardians of the Galaxy wearing a “I am Groot” t-shirt and walking on stilts
I love seeing parent and kid nerd duo or trio.